These questions were posed to me here recently and to be honest I’ve never received them before. I was caught a bit off guard but still happy to answer.
I like to think I’m an open book when it comes to educating others on a variety of things from my family’s journey, Cerebral Palsy, living life with a unique child and even the exhaustion that comes with it all. I embrace peoples curiosity.
You see, as a special needs mom this question is undoubtedly always in the back of our minds. It is always lingering in each moment, of every minute of our lives. The wonder is real people. The how is even more real.
My husband and I plan for Linden’s future through tons of discussed scenarios. It’s hard to visualize where he will be once he is done with high school. It’s hard to see where he will be academically. Of course like every parent you see your child growing up, going to college, getting married, having children, and having a “normal” life. Well we have to be realistic here. Not everyone is on this “so called normal” path. Times have changed and so are the norms. Keeping that in the back of my mind I still have to be aware of a few possible paths Linden could go down.
My first response is…he will be with me forever! I know that can’t be possible. I also know that I prefer him to not be in a group home. I want him to be surrounded by those that love him and see that he is taken care of. Who can that be? The “burden” can’t be on his brother Sawyer. I can only imagine the amount of responsibility Sawyer will secretly carry on his shoulders once he is older anyways. Plus we as parents can’t put that on him either.
Our discussed current plan is that we will have land one day and he will have a fully accessible house on it along with our own home. We wouldn’t be too far from a city so he can have access to transportation and medical care. I want him to be independent and have a working trade. He loves music and movement. He has a very gentle side to him that can help him in a nurturing kind of field. I’m still not sure what career path he is destine for but I do know that my family and I will not stop continuing to teach him independence, life skills and his academics. Regardless of the struggles he has now and will have, he will have a Linden “normal” life and we can’t wait to help shape it with him as he grows older.
Now I know what you are thinking, “That’s not that much of a plan”. You are absolutely right. But honestly how in the world am I to know what his path and journey will look like for him as a 2nd grader. I can only speculate at this moment. I have to keep doing what I’m doing and hope for the best. That’s all I can do!
To end, I do want to say I appreciate this question. It put it out there and not only in my head. Talking about these things aside from my husband, makes it a little easier to digest. I encourage questions from everyone. I encourage you to think about those paths and journeys your little ones will possibility go on. Talk about it! Talk about it for real!